2018 Aggie Showdown

A couple weeks ago I competed in the Aggie showdown. It was a collegiate usapl powerlifting meet hosted by Texas A&M. Angelo State drove 5 hours to College Station and we stayed a couple nights a hotel a block away from the meet. It wasn’t the strongest I’ve been, honestly, I wasn’t in good shape, but the experience was worth it.

s/o to Austin for calling my last squat.



Photo credits to the team

Snow in Las Vegas

On the 23rd of February 2018, it snowed for the first time in a very long time. About 10 years, to be exact. I really wish I hadn’t been working because I would have been able to take some amazing pictures, but I worked with what I was given.

You already know that I risked getting fired to go run around and play outside in it, and let me tell you- I’m glad I did. It only lasted less than 30 minutes, but those were the happiest minutes that I’ve had in a while. And I did not get fired.

Overall it was a pretty great day. I love the snow and rarely ever get to see it, let alone play in it.

Poetry: A Thousand Times

I die every night.

Sometimes murder,

sometimes suicide.

I watch the people that I love

get taken by death.

I watch them die.

Unable to help;

forced to listen to

their blood curdling screams.

I can’t get it out of my head.


I’ve died a thousand times

and each time it does not get easier.

Each time is different,

by a different hand.

I’ve watched the ones I love die

a thousand times

and each night it never gets easier.

I’ve watched myself kill people

whom I’ve never met;

felt their blood splatter on my face

from a severed vein;

felt their hot blood drench my hands

while I’m holding the knife.


I’ve watched my hands

push her off the light pole,

felt her hair brush against my fingertips

as she was falling down.

I’ve watched the hands belonging to me

impersonate my darkest thoughts,

but the actions are not mine.

I’ve dreamt this a thousand times.

And each time I know

that I’m to blame.


I see a person

once called a friend

hanging with a broken neck

by a bloody, frayed noose,

from a decaying, rotting tree.

Eyes like the darkest night

staring through my soul.

The blood ices over inside my veins,

I breathe not air, but icicles.

With every breath,

they rip my throat

and tear through my lungs.

Her gaze never breaks from my eyes.

She screams, “It’s all your fault!”

from beyond.


I try to run,

to get as far away as possible,

but I am rooted in place

like a tree in the forest.

You fail to see

that I am the tree.

I’ve died so often

that mentally- I’m out of reach.

I know what is to come.


I’ve felt Deaths ice cold breath down my throat.

I’ve smelt his rotten flesh.

I’ve tasted his bitter tongue.

I’ve heard him in the wind,

rustling the leaves on the forest floor.

I’ve seen his black, lifeless eyes.

-14 February 2018

Poetry: Black Roses

I hope you don’t remember me,

for you do not deserve to.

I hope that when you search the skies

looking for a glimpse of who I was,

the sun scorches your eyes.

I hope the pain resembles

what you made me feel.


I hope they burn me

from your memory;

torch the roses you gave me

until there is nothing left.

Nothing left except

withered, black petals.

A bouquet of Black Roses,

the color of sadness and farewell;

you brought to my funeral.

After all, black roses

are often referred to as funeral flowers.


But I was not physically dead,

only inside of my head.

I hope that I am dead to you

because you are to me.

You don’t deserve to remember,

you don’t deserve to think;

you don’t deserve to even

have me in your memories.

-14 February 2018

Poetry: Leaving

I want to leave,

and leave everything behind.

I want to start over completely

in a place that I cannot even pronounce,

someplace beautiful.

When I say that

I want to leave everything behind,

I’m talking less about objects

and materialistic things;

I am talking about memories, feelings, and mistakes.


Wipe my brain clean of the smog;

all the pollution left upon it

from dirty people.

Wipe my heart clean

of all the undeserving fingerprints

that touched my beating heart without consent;

they reached under my rib cage,

tore flesh from bone,

and took it with force.

The poison from their toxicity

is still running through my bruised veins.

Wipe my conscious clean

of every regret, every hand I let slip

through my fingers…


Take these three aspects,

chop them up

and throw them in the bathtub.

Pour acid like gasoline

on their skin

and watch them burn.

Watch them dissolve into what they should be-


Watch them burn

for all the hell they put you through.

Pull the chain on the bathtub

and watch them turn into mini tornadoes,

no longer able to pull you up into their vortex.


Pull the chain

and watch them drain.

Watch them drain until there is nothing left.

Nothing- just like they should be.

They should be nothing;

they will be nothing.

I am leaving,

and leaving everything behind.

-1 February 2018

Shhh- be quiet.

They’ll hear you if you’re not careful.

Although your ears are overwhelmed,

theirs are empty.


They can hear the screams

that come from inside your flesh;

they can hear the horrors from your past.

Do not let them hear.

Sit in silence

as you wait for them to vanish.


Lay in the darkness

and watch their shadow pass you by.

Do not let them know,

and maybe– just maybe

they’ll leave you alone.

-15 January 2018

Past Photoshoots

Here are a couple of the photo shoots that I (Hannah) have done in the past.  These were super fun and a couple were actually accidental shots! I didn’t have very many models to work with, so all of these are family and close friends.

Winter Break

Here are some of our favorite photos from our adventures over winter break. I drove back to Vegas to visit Hannah and we took some amazing pictures and had a lot of fun exploring. We hiked a couple miles in the Sloan Preserve through the trails behind the middle school we both attended. Also, we did a fun photo-shoot at the top of bootleg canyon and went to a monthly event at the Arts District called First Friday. Later, we went to a new restaurant called Black Tap Craft Burgers and Beer and then explored Mt. Charleston the day before I drove back to Texas for the coming semester.


Sloan Hike:


Bootleg Photoshoot:



First Friday:



Black Tap:


Mt. Charleston:



And of course we can’t forget our Christmas trip to Williams, AZ:


Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑