Poetry: Black Roses

I hope you don’t remember me,

for you do not deserve to.

I hope that when you search the skies

looking for a glimpse of who I was,

the sun scorches your eyes.

I hope the pain resembles

what you made me feel.

 

I hope they burn me

from your memory;

torch the roses you gave me

until there is nothing left.

Nothing left except

withered, black petals.

A bouquet of Black Roses,

the color of sadness and farewell;

you brought to my funeral.

After all, black roses

are often referred to as funeral flowers.

 

But I was not physically dead,

only inside of my head.

I hope that I am dead to you

because you are to me.

You don’t deserve to remember,

you don’t deserve to think;

you don’t deserve to even

have me in your memories.

-14 February 2018

Poetry: Leaving

I want to leave,

and leave everything behind.

I want to start over completely

in a place that I cannot even pronounce,

someplace beautiful.

When I say that

I want to leave everything behind,

I’m talking less about objects

and materialistic things;

I am talking about memories, feelings, and mistakes.

 

Wipe my brain clean of the smog;

all the pollution left upon it

from dirty people.

Wipe my heart clean

of all the undeserving fingerprints

that touched my beating heart without consent;

they reached under my rib cage,

tore flesh from bone,

and took it with force.

The poison from their toxicity

is still running through my bruised veins.

Wipe my conscious clean

of every regret, every hand I let slip

through my fingers…

 

Take these three aspects,

chop them up

and throw them in the bathtub.

Pour acid like gasoline

on their skin

and watch them burn.

Watch them dissolve into what they should be-

Nothing.

Watch them burn

for all the hell they put you through.

Pull the chain on the bathtub

and watch them turn into mini tornadoes,

no longer able to pull you up into their vortex.

 

Pull the chain

and watch them drain.

Watch them drain until there is nothing left.

Nothing- just like they should be.

They should be nothing;

they will be nothing.

I am leaving,

and leaving everything behind.

-1 February 2018

Shhh- be quiet.

They’ll hear you if you’re not careful.

Although your ears are overwhelmed,

theirs are empty.

 

They can hear the screams

that come from inside your flesh;

they can hear the horrors from your past.

Do not let them hear.

Sit in silence

as you wait for them to vanish.

 

Lay in the darkness

and watch their shadow pass you by.

Do not let them know,

and maybe– just maybe

they’ll leave you alone.

-15 January 2018

Past Photoshoots

Here are a couple of the photo shoots that I (Hannah) have done in the past.  These were super fun and a couple were actually accidental shots! I didn’t have very many models to work with, so all of these are family and close friends.

Winter Break

Here are some of our favorite photos from our adventures over winter break. I drove back to Vegas to visit Hannah and we took some amazing pictures and had a lot of fun exploring. We hiked a couple miles in the Sloan Preserve through the trails behind the middle school we both attended. Also, we did a fun photo-shoot at the top of bootleg canyon and went to a monthly event at the Arts District called First Friday. Later, we went to a new restaurant called Black Tap Craft Burgers and Beer and then explored Mt. Charleston the day before I drove back to Texas for the coming semester.

 

Sloan Hike:

 

Bootleg Photoshoot:

 

 

First Friday:

IMG_7181

 

Black Tap:

 

Mt. Charleston:

 

 

And of course we can’t forget our Christmas trip to Williams, AZ:

 

Poetry: Dusk

Born unto death,
 the dusk knows my mind.
It brings forth
 things buried deep.

 

Through these eyes
 that come to life at night,
 there is no redemption in sight,
 there is no light in the end.

My body aches,
 as I feel like giving in.
But something burns strong,
 that keeps me going.

Something Odd

You know, there are a lot of odd things that happen in our world. Sometimes things move without us moving them, or you will see someone, or something, for just a mere second that isn’t real. Sometimes you will even hear things that are not real. Maybe you walk into a room and forget what exactly it is that you came back for– that’s odd.

There are other odd things that happen after someone who you have spent countless hours with, suddenly just isn’t there anymore. I’m talking about literal days spent with this person, a whole month, maybe even more. I apologize if you know what I am talking about. If you don’t understand, well, it basically feels like they’re still there. Sometimes you’ll find yourself talking out loud to them, only to quickly realize you’re talking to yourself. You’ll even shout across the room to them because they’ve been in their room for a while and you want to make sure they’re okay; only to realize they aren’t across the room, they’re simply gone.

Sometimes it even feels like they’re still sitting next to you, and you’ll reach out beside you to grasp their hand, only to be met with the sting of the icy cold air and reality. It is very eerie, like fog has seeped inside your head and clouded your true sense of reality. But, the worst thing about them leaving, is the silence. There is nothing worse than the silence. There is nothing to distract you from it, it’s just always there. It’s so quiet, you can hear the ticking of every clock all at once, you can hear your own blood running inside your veins, you can hear yourself going insane. And then there is the constant hum inside your head; that ringing you can never seem to get rid of. That’s odd, isn’t it?

Mt. Charleston pt. 2

Okay, so I (Jackson) got back from base earlier than expected and thought it would be a good idea to post some of the pics I took on our adventure to Mt. Charleston.

(p.s. Hannah should totally be a model)

 

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